I love reading stories about “successful” people and how they failed hundreds of times before one thing went incredibly right. That gives me Hope. I’ve never really been too fond of perfect people – as if such a thing exists…
Imagine if everything always went according to plan. Many of us were born as a result of something not going according to plan. Does that make our lives invaluable? Not at all. I believe that each life has a start and expiration date that not even the midwife or pregnant mother herself can comprehend. God set aside just the right amount of skin, hair, body fat, intelligence and personality for each soul He assigned a body to. He made some of us short, some thin, some with a disability and some with wider than normal hips. And He said, “It’s Good.” He did all that on purpose.
Now, considering this, I understand why God was silent all those nights I cried out in opposition of who I am & what He created. Every time I insult my body or resent my experiences & expect God to run to my side with a Kleenex, what I get instead is thick, loud silence. The more I believe that something is wrong with me, the less aware I become of everything right with me. God was pleased when He made me. What I see as a problem, He adds purpose to.
Imagine being God – a supernatural creator with the power to speak to anything at anytime and create any result. He is the question and the answer. He is the beginning and the end. Imagine having such power. I can’t even fathom all that God is, so I know I definitely couldn’t do a better job at being God than He does. So who am I to critique his creation with such boldness? Who am I to tell Him what beauty is? The Bible says that God gives beauty in place of my ashes (Is. 61:1-3) which tells me that what I have now is ashes. Dust. Dirt. He IS beauty and when I trade what I think I am for what He declares I am, there is BEAUTY. If he says that I am beautiful and wonderfully made standing at 5’5 with a BMI that medically classifies me as ‘obese’ then I must be beautiful and wonderfully made.
Could I be healthier? Sure! Can I blame God if I’m not? No! I ask myself, since I am the one seeing all of these issues in the first place: What have you done to His creation that you are holding Him accountable to? If I over eat and gain 10 pounds, is it God’s fault for “making me fat”? If I self harm and end up with scars on my limbs, can I say that God gave me ugly skin? If I choose to vomit after meals and avoid eating, is it God’s fault when I become anorexic? The answer to all of this is NO, Absolutely not!
God created me and was satisfied with what He did. He then gave me free will. As His child, it is up to me to trust His way over mine. If I step outside of His will, He cannot be held accountable. Here’s the beautiful, wonderful truth about it all: God is never far from those who belong to Him. Even when I have stepped outside the will of God, He never lets me get too entangled in the world that I forget to ‘phone home’ or come back to His presence. He welcomes me with Love every single time and gives me rest and time to get back in line with His original plan for me.
So yeah; sometimes you get off course. That doesn’t matter. What counts is the humility to repent and redirect your focus toward God. He’s the creator. He has the blueprint. His way, in the long run, is best.
I Am Eryka.