Consistent Disciple

Discipline & Disciple are nearly the same word.

Discipline is Self-Control in action. It's quite powerful. A disciple's job is to demonstrate discipline in whichever area they're called to. That's literally the point of a disciple: to be an example.

I doubt anyone is born disciplined. Im sure parents everywhere would love if all their kids came out legitimately self-controlled. That would make for a boring world.

Self-Control, Discipline rather, is learned. It's built. It has been shaped and formed and worked out to completion by God. To get it, we must go through Him. Discipline isn't a matter of what I think I need to do regularly, but a matter of what God considers right and how continuously I align myself to His standards.

Losing weight isn't about exercising and eating properly. Sure those things get results, but ultimately, the decision to begin and continue to eat balanced meals and maintain an active lifestyle starts in one's identity. Everything is a product of identity. If a person lives bad, chances are that their view of themselves is bad. My point is: Discipline is all about consistency.

At every stage of my life, I can look back and see traces of discipline but it hasn't always been aligned to God's will. I've lost weight before, but not in a way that brought God Glory. I built a good career for myself, but not built on God's plan for my life. In all those scenarios, in order to strive in one, I had to decrease in God. While pledging, I couldn't even attend church. While working and being the perfect employee for a huge company, it was suggested that I "leave God at the door."

My point is: It's impossible to serve two masters. There will be confusion, dishonesty and ultimate hatred of one of those things. The more one loves one thing, the less love it's able to direct toward another. Discipline speaks to what we truly love. It's fueled by what we truly love. If a person loves Zumba, you'll know it because their lifestyle will resemble that of the Zumba culture. If one loves their school, you'll know in the way they reflect it.

Now here's the kicker — the same thing applies to walking with God. The more I love God, the less I love sin. It's incredibly difficult to find joy in something I know God hates. It doesn't mean I'm perfect, but God has grown me to this place where even though I am sometimes distracted by the flesh, my love for God and belief in His promises is so much bigger than whatever feeling the flesh is chasing.

I was battling lust. I was lusting after a young man I knew I could easily "get in bed" because that's what my flesh wanted. My flesh felt like it has been 6 years since I became single & 3 years of no sex. My flesh tells me things like, "you might as well because clearly you're not getting younger." My flesh even tries to justify lust with my desire to be a mom. The last thing I want to do is create a child in confusion and raise it alone, yet the flesh tried to convince me sex, now was the answer.

I almost tried it. I almost gave up on the promise but just the confusion and difficulty of trying to have sex with that guy turned me completely off. I knew God hated it when I made the decision to go after him, but being in the situation and who I would have to un-become in order to accomplish the task is what ultimately ruined it for me. In order to have sex, I have to give up on my own vow to my own self. I would also have to face God knowing I rushed ahead of him and took what He never told me I could have.

But… God keeps keeping me. I told the story a few blog posts back, but really it's God. I'm young and beautiful. I'm charismatic and I can be a flirt when I want to be. (God made me! Lol) It's nothing for me to seduce a man, woman was created with the thought of pleasing men in mind, but after almost doing it & literally seeing how it weakened him, I was turned off. That's not what I want my touch or my presence to do for a man. Whether he's my brother or my husband, I want my presence to always uplift the men around me. I don't want to be the reason some girl gets cheated on or some kid is up looking for his dad who was suppose to be home hours ago. I don't want to be a woman who screws a man's mind up. I don't want to be lusted after. I want to be Loved.

Honestly, I think God is up to something. I will be married and I believe it's coming, soon. But if I lose focus and remain unfocused, I will break the consistency required to build discipline. It's not worth it to me – to each his own, but I believe Jesus is the key Eternal Life. Even My physical life is His – it isn't about an orgasm, nor is it reduced to whether or not I'm someone's wife.

I am God's very own. His personal, private, yet exclusive possession. He thought of me. He spoke me out of nothing into everything He is. My job is to consistently stick to the creator's script. No one else's; not even my body's.

Stay tuned. I'm no psychic, but I hear wedding bells. I've been faithful. I've sacrificed. I've done my best to be obedient. God is not a man. He cannot lie. He will honor His word. Let each man have his own wife.

To God be the Glory!

I am Eryka

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