God made Adam. From Adam, God created Eve. God gave Adam dominion, or authority over Eve as her Husband. It is a leader’s job to teach, guide and protect.
The Bible isn’t specific about where Adam was while the serpent was testing Eve. Maybe Adam was busy working the garden. If Adam was anything like modern day man, he was probably off playing or watching games of some sort. Either way, Adam, the leader, had one submissive at the time, yet somehow his submissive was given space and opportunity to disregard his authority and sin.
Is it Eve’s fault for being manipulated by the serpent? Is it the serpent’s fault for misleading God’s children? Is Adam to blame since He was ultimately the one “in charge”?
Who is to blame? Really.
I struggle with this. I struggle to accept and co-exist with man. God designed them to lead, and unfortunately when I survey my community & country as a whole, I see so many men off duty. Fathers that don’t come home. Husbands that never show up. Sons that depend on and deplete their families. Brothers who neglect and abuse their sisters. I struggle with this. On one hand, I know that women are just as imperfect as men. On the other hand, I also know that God never told woman to lead a family or a home. He gave that responsibility to men. So my question becomes, why isn’t man doing his job? Don’t get me wrong; there are many men throughout the Earth who are walking in truth and their identity in Christ. They are leading and loving their families and I salute them. This blog isn’t about those men. Again, I’m only speaking to and from where I have been. If it is man’s job to be the head, I think it’s time he rises to the occasion.
I could argue both sides all day. Mothers should raise better sons. Women should refuse to date immature guys and be willing to be single until they grow up. Maybe wives should be more supportive and encouraging. Maybe females could be softer and more sexual. Maybe, maybe, maybe… I don’t speak from a place of lack though. I write this blog as a young woman who has been abused, misled, abandoned and rejected by man but who decided that I would still rise to the purpose of woman as God himself designed it. I decided to continue to forgive and trust even after being lied to. I make the decision to present myself in a neat and attractive way. I could lay down and curse guys all day, but I choose not to. I could sleep with married men and disrespect older men by seducing them, but I don’t. I guess I just wish that there were more men willing to stand up in spite of every reason they have to lie down. I wish more men would dare to be more like Jesus and less like Adam.
Adam was obviously distracted. I’m not attacking the man’s character; I’m simply stating the facts of the Bible. Adam was not present when his submissive was being tested. He wasn’t there to defend her. He wasn’t there to stop her. He wasn’t there to remind her of the covenant. In a sense, he let it happen by not being more proactive about his assignment.
I appreciate that man is such a dedicated and hard worker. My dad absolutely loves working. I asked what his favorite part of life has been, and he answered, “working.” He has children, siblings and a wife, yet his joy is work. I won’t say that his answer is wrong. That’s his truth. As his daughter, I learned to accept a long time ago that my dad prefers making money over every other thing. I have a choice though: be annoyed every time he’s not there for me or accept that he is who he is. While it may suck, it’s his truth.
My truth is different though. I won’t marry a man who doesn’t love God more than Himself. I won’t commit to a relationship with someone who only sees me as an option. I can’t walk into a man’s life who loves work more than anything else and expect to become his priority. Even Adam had to be stopped in order for Eve to even be crafted. God stopped Adam & caused him to sleep. Then from everything Adam was, God took a rib and formed a brand new creature. Adam woke and found Eve before Him, already prepared. Sure, Adam could’ve spent more time cultivating Eve just as he did the plants. The fact is, he didn’t. Maybe he wasn’t suppose to. If Adam had done everything right, what need would we have for Jesus?
See, I have a truth Adam didn’t have. I have the blood of Jesus & the Holy Spirit. Adam had authority and dominion. He even had a submissive. What he didn’t have was God’s Holy Spirit within Him. That made it easier for him to be distracted. The Holy Spirit would’ve alarmed him of the serpent. The Holy Spirit would’ve been able to step in and save Eve. God knew that. The entire purpose of the sin in the Garden was to make a void that the Holy Spirit could fill.
The thought that inspired this blog was, “Why did my ex husband sleep with men? Why did he abuse me? Why didn’t He love me?” Now I have this strange understanding that the answer is simply, “Because it had to be.” God had to create a void and a hunger in my heart that would create room for the Holy Spirit to fill and direct me. Had I never married my ex, I wouldn’t know which things to look for or avoid. I would have no reason not to make the exact same mistakes. If Adam had been the perfect leader, Jesus would’ve been out a job.
Because my ex-husband wasn’t the will, my real husband now has purpose. I will marry on purpose. I will marry for purpose. My future husband’s purpose is made complete by the pain and distortion of my past. My Adam made room for My Jesus.
I am Eryka