Personal

I shall not want

The Lord is my Shepherd.

He keeps and watches over me.

I shall not want.

Because my Shepherd provides for me.

Psalm 23… everyone has heard it at least once. The part that gets me every time is, “I shall not want.” Let’s face it, while we shall not want, we do. We want so much, and so badly. Want.

My dad likes to remind me that in life there are 3 types of things: wants, needs & gotta haves. Wants are conditional. They’re based on a desire or the current situation. Wants are typically vain in nature. Needs are necessary. Needs fuel our every day lives. Needs keep us healthy, happy and profitable. Needs benefit us although they’re not always desired. Gotta Haves are a mixture of both. Marriage is a “gotta have” for some. While it’s not always “necessary”, marriage is a gift gifted to meet several needs and it brings with it a plethora of met desires and wants. A Gotta Have is the basis of a want and the significance of a need.

I gotta have Jesus. I gotta have Love. I gotta have peace. There are some things in life that with or without the presence of wants and needs, we simply gotta have.

“I shall not want.” That verse almost haunts me. I shall not, so why do I want so much? I shall not want, so why do I chase? I shall not, so why do I feel so disappointed when I don’t.

I’m reminded of the apostle Paul and the thorn in his flesh. I doubt the thorn was a literal splinter in his side. The thorn was more than likely a want that never seemed to be fulfilled or a tendency to shall, when we simply shall not.

This thorn makes me. This thorn motivates me. As much as I wish I could turn off my want for marriage, it is simply that desire that has pushed me toward so much self discovery and growth. Had it not been for my desire to marry, I may not have met Jesus at such a young age. If I had not dared to want a kingdom marriage, I may have never dared to become a Kingdom woman.

I shall not want – but I do. I want what I gotta have in order to keep my needs covered and my purpose in tact. I’m not a girlfriend, so I don’t desire a boyfriend. I’m not a baby mama, so I pass on casual sex. I am who I am because I have dared to desire it. The way I see it, either I’ll see marriage and motherhood on this side of Heaven, or I’ll enter into compete rest with Jesus for eternity which is pretty much the best happily ever after, ever.

I shall want, but I shall not die if said want is not met. I shall not want, because He is all I need, forever.

My flesh and my heart may fail, But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 73:26

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