Personal

Love?

There will always be a guy who looks the part and says the right thing. There will always be somewhere I’ve never been and something I’ve yet to do. Life is infinite. There are infinite outcomes for each scenario, but I’m convinced that Destiny is the final decision maker. Destiny knows what it takes to get me to the finish line and God is the holder of Destiny, so it must happen the way He wills.

Relationships are gifts, but they’re heavy. To Love a person requires giving of the mind, spirit and body. Relationships require patience & time. No broken thing just magically resolved itself. It takes time and circumstance to create brokenness & the same can be expected for healing. That said… this desire I have to be married… to share my life with one man… to be fruitful and multiply… this desire is heavy. This desire is legitimate, but at the same time it feels unrealistic and inconvenient.

Man + Woman is so much easier said than done.

Crushes come and go so quickly, but relationships require sticking around. Not only must he stick around, be patient, open & loving, but that’s also my responsibility.

Bottom line: I’ve stumbled across yet another prospect. My heart is off – but my mind is intrigued. This particular process with this individual was unexpected, unusual and unlikely by any normal circumstances… but I’m intrigued.

I refuse to be led by desperation. Desire is a gift but I will not allow it to be too heavy anymore. I am dedicated to enjoying each moment. My body and my heart are both guarded. Obviously this too is apart of the process because no matter how hard I pray for the door to be closed, he’s still there. This guy is different. Not in the way other guys are different, because they’re all different until they’re the same – he’s different in the sense that he’s nothing I’ve ever had before. He’s new. No games. No guessing. He’s visible & consistent.

But is he mine? Or is he just another chapter in my future best selling novel ?

One can only wonder…

3 years ago in Dallas, Texas

I am Eryka

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s