Personal

Still Standing… Still

I love boxing.

I used to box for exercise a few years back. Although it’s been a long time since I’ve done it, I still remember how powerful I felt while doing it. Not every moment of anger has to be expressed inappropriately. There are hobbies like running and boxing that allow us to physically release what we mentally and emotionally are feeling.

Lord, I need to box!

This month has been incredible and challenging. Some things have been wonderful, and others are just down right miserable. I struggle constantly to find the balance between sanity and complete chaos. I’m holding on to my Faith, praying and speaking my way through rough moments and bad days, but now I’m all out of tries.

I remember reading something about being still and the Lord will fight for me. I’ve been trying and going and doing and saying and it hasn’t worked. I’ve been working and acting and giving and serving and it hasn’t worked. I’ve been picking and choosing and deciding and desiring and still, none of it works. I finally choose to stop!

Yes, I say that often but this time I mean it! I have one job when I wake up each day and that’s to honor and serve the Lord. Beyond that, everything else is lagniappe. Desires and pleasures are simply extra. Good days are every day that I wake up to live again. Every moment is now an amazing moment – I declare it, because in every moment while the world is in uproar, I can choose to be completely still.

Last year when The Great Flood hit Baton Rouge, La, I had several family members impacted. I remember watching the water rise on tv, but looking out of my front door and not even seeing rain. I remember streets just a few miles away being closed and completely destroyed. Families were scattered. Stores were empty. The city was in a state of emergency, literally. But God kept me still. My mom and dad went out to help relatives. My brother rescued his children and their mother from a flooded home and drove them to safety. Everyone was busy doing what it took to save as many lives as possible, yet God had me be still. Mom and Dad insisted that I stay at the house to filter phone calls and prepare for whomever needed room and board. There were so many people physically in the midst of the biggest storm our city had seen in decades, and I was at home, belly full and dry.

I am grateful.

Looking back, I see Gods hand. I am prone to panic attacks. I get overwhelmed quite easily in certain types of situations. I can handle large crowds, create something out of nothing using my hands, encourage anyone who gives me an ear, but it’s not my gift to be one who goes head first in the midst of chaos. I am grateful for those who are called to be helpers in that way, but I also respect and accept that I am simply not good in every situation.

That said, knowing when to be still is wise and beneficial. If what I’m doing is ineffective, why do it?

So… in the midst of the relational, financial and some times emotional storms I have been blessed with recently, I’m done trying. I choose to stand tall and still.

I am more than a conqueror. I don’t have to get in the middle of the fight and acquire bruises to prove it. God says He has the battle covered. I need only, be still.

The lesson that keeps on giving.

I am Eryka

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