Personal

Selah

They say…

“I didn’t know you went through that.”

“I had no idea!”

“You’d never know.”

But I know. I try, but I can’t forget… so here it is:

I am a broken soul desperate for fullness in Christ. The world has hurt me enough. I’ve acquired scars and lessons. I’ve bumped my head. I’ve been wrong. I’ve been up, down and twisted sideways. None of it lasted. None of it healed me. None of it made me forget.

I WANT TO FORGET…

I live in now, but I remember then. “Let it go.” They say; but no one has been able to demonstrate nor explain how to “let go.”

To let is to allow…

To go is to move…

How do I allow something to move when it seems to be following me?!

That’s the million dollar question with no answer.

Let go. Okay cool; what’s the first step?

Prayer? Because I’ve been praying a long time. I’ve seen God do a lot of things, yet I still remember and it still Hurts.

Becoming involved within other things? Yeah that works for awhile until everything begins to remind me of then or when.

Trauma is a silent echo that never goes away. It’s the oxiest-oxymoron to ever exist.

“I am going to Think, exist and live as though I haven’t been completely wrecked.” Said no one, ever. Maybe I’m more pessimistic than I ought to be, but damnit… I’m hurting !!!! Hello?!?!?!

God, help me. This blog is for you – not any human. If you don’t heal me, I won’t make it.

Selah.

I am Eryka.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s