Personal

Balancing Act

This photo is intriguing. It appears to be one rock on top of another… or is it one rock supporting 5 others? Whatever it is, it sure is balanced.

This recent foot injury has brought me much wisdom, mostly because I’ve been still and in one place. I’ve been able to speak to God again and I’ve made myself more open to just waiting. But two weeks ago, this balance was lacking. It’s easy to pile one assignment on top of another, especially when they’re enjoyable or “easy” to accomplish. A big lesson I learned recently is, Ease doesn’t mean necessary. There are a lot of things that are easy to do, but should I devote time and energy to them all? Probably not. The proof? Simple, easy tasks when piled one on top of another disrupts any chance balance has of existing.

Sure, the rocks seem to have made it work, but I’m no rock. I’m way better! I’m a soul in a human body. I get to walk and speak and go and see. I get to exist on this planet and hopefully add something beautiful to it. Each day has enough responsibility in it without my trying to be Super Woman. When I hurt my left foot, I was helping my Mom decorate. There were other things I should have stopped to do, but thinking I could do it all, I piled more things to do onto myself until my left foot made me sit down.

I tried to “be strong” & tough it out. I wrapped it and walked around on it for hours cleaning and baking and doing everyday activities. Eventually I went to the ER for an X-Ray. They were very specific in telling me to stay off it, still I decided I could go inside the pharmacy to get my medicine, while on crutches. I tripped leaving out of the store and sprang my right food. That’s not balance. That’s pride. I was so determined to be okay when I needed to acknowledge that I was hurt and allow myself to heal.

So, for the last ten days I’ve been in constant pain. I have cancelled everything that could be cancelled. I have been saying “No” left and right and to be honest – it feels good. I’ve been massaging my feet, cleaning my space, writing and praying more and reading for enjoyment, not just to study. I’ve found balance. I wasn’t even searching for it… but I should have been.

Sure, I’m great at a lot of things, but that’s no obligation to always do all of them. I deserve breaks too! Jesus rested. God made rest a commandment. He set aside an entire way called The Sabbath. Yes, work has its season, but so does rest.

While at rest, I’ve learned to be more humble, ask for those things I really need, and I’ve even gotten better at being quiet! To God be the Glory! It’s easy to stay the same, but growth requires change and change is a productive balance.

Love is balanced. Love understands the need for attention but it also awards space. It supports without enabling. It appreciates without codependency. I am Love, therefore I must keep my balance. If I tip too far in any direction, I fall into trouble and it’s just not worth it.

I don’t have all the answers. I have no clue what tomorrow holds, but for the first time in forever (*Frozen is a great movie*) I am not interesting in trying to figure it out. I’d rather be surprised. I like it that way.

As for my feet… well, they’re healing. It’s been rough but God is faithful. People have turned their backs and seemingly forgot me, but He’s been here the entire time! He keeps me going. He gave me strength and energy to sing with our choir 3 times this past week. He gave me the courage and strength to recite poetry a few nights ago. He keeps showing up to give me courage and strength. He keeps proving that He’s never not with me!

Answers I do not have, but balance like Victory – is mine!

I am Eryka

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