Personal

An Open Letter to Myself

To: Eryka

From: Eryka

December 31st 2017

Woman, I love you!

You have been through a type of Hell, but you’re still here. You could have given up two decades ago. Twenty years is a long time to live knowing and feeling what you’ve had to feel.

None of it is your fault. You were not created to be perfect, which means you are everything you’ll ever need to be. The seed is within you. You are a seed within a seed. Even this letter is a seed. See, I’m planting something in you right now. I am choosing to claim you as my own, just as Jesus claims us. I choose to greet you every morning with joy and wonder. I choose to be present in every moment of your life. I apologize for running from you – well, trying to. You are me, and because of that I can never, nor do I want to, separate from you.

Jesus loves us. So much so, He chose to walk this filthy Earth and He saw beauty in every disgusting, sinful human life. That includes Eryka. He doesn’t see your flaws, and starting now, I choose not to see them either. So what if we don’t look like, sound like, have as much money as, or sleep next to a spouse like so and so does? Does that even matter?

When Mom went cold in front of your eyes, did it really matter that you’re unmarried? No. What mattered what’s Mom was under attack and we needed Our Lord and He was there.

I apologize for choosing ex-husband. I didn’t know you well enough to choose a guy to lead you. I barley knew God. I was more devoted to my plans for my life that I neglected you. It’s been 7 years, and I realize that in many ways I was still neglecting you.

Serving others is easy, but you’re so close. I know every, single detail of you. I know what you’re capable of so I judge the parts of you that make mistakes and I apologize. It is not my job to judge you. It is my pleasure to Love you.

Going forward, things are different. Some relationships are over – no ‘Goodbye’ necessary. It’s time that you drop the dead weight. Addiction must flee. Doubt has no room. Insecurity has officially been evicted. What God has for you is so special and so specific to who He designed you to be. You don’t want to miss it.

My advice to you is:

• Eagerly say “Yes” to God each morning. Surrendering your heart every morning keeps you humble. You did not wake yourself. You do not control that pulse, or blood pumping through your body. God does, and nobody knows you like him.

• Willingly embrace God as everything that He is. He knows more about you than I do. He can see and orchestrate things that we only dream of. Your willful obedience brings Him joy. He doesn’t want a Kingdom filled with children who feel obligated to serve Him. He enjoys willing fellowship and obedience.

• Courageously remember WHO YOU ARE. At all times, know that you know that you know that you are a Royal priesthood. The Spirit of the Living God exists within you. With power like that, low self esteem has to flee. Own your growl!

•Humbly serve others. Let’s be real, life is pretty harsh when we try to do it alone. Did you know that sharing your heart and trusting the friends God sends your way is also service? Transparency is just as valuable as cooking for someone. Your friends and loved ones need to know that they’re not alone. Sure you can buy a gift, but sitting and sharing the moment means much more. Humble yourself, lady, then be humbled some more. God exalts the humble.

Joyfully lend your gifts. You are so talented. Some days I look at you and wonder if there’s anything you can’t do. God has gifted you with creativity like no other. Even the way you dress and present yourself is powerful. Everybody loves you. You can’t even explain why people flock to you or trust in you, but they do. People don’t even know why they flock to you – that’s the light. So shine bright! You are most enthusiastic and illuminated when you’re reciting your poetry, praising God, and creating art. You sketch clothing that the Kingdom would love to wear. You write poems and songs that could possibly heal your city. Speak Up! God’s got your back.

More than anything, I choose to Love you. Please Love me back.

Humbly, with Joy & Love,

Eryka

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