Not Her


I know this is not news to you. You are fully aware that, I Am Eryka. I am speaking to myself this time. I was not created to be Her, whoever she may be. I can only be one ‘her’ and that ‘her’ is Eryka.

Role Models are thread of childhood, in my personal opinion. What I mean is this: children are constantly looking to older people for direction and examples. A female child looks to the women around her to know how ladies are to act. If those females around her are built a certain way, chances are, that young lady will grow up and mimic a lot of what she learned from those other women. While I have been influenced and even inspired by many women in my lifetime, I had to remind myself just now that I am not them.

My legs are not her legs, therefore I do not walk as she does. My hands are attached to my arms, therefore they may not do what her hands do. I am okay with being Eryka. The issue comes when Eryka tries to immolate the actions or steps another has taken to reach a certain goal. Sure, my goals may be similar to hers, but still, I am not HER.

So what is one to do with such a revelation? It’s easy: GIVE UP THE GHOST! I officially resign from every position I have allowed myself to take as a result of my attempts to be her. She is busy living her life, doing what only she can, and I am missing out on pure, valuable, Eryka-ness when I put myself in her place.

She may have got what she needed from University. She may have married a man with all the right connections. She may even lose weight faster than I do, and her hair may grow at a speed that mine won’t ever match. And that’s OKAY! See, here’s the secret: God never asked me to be her. He never even asked me to be like her. He simply says to me each day, “Live on Purpose.”  My purpose is the greatest task and identity that I will ever find. I do not have time to waste being someone else. I recently blogged about unbecoming everything I became in my pursuit of self. It takes too much energy to unlearn old ways and undo old habits. I cannot put myself in her shoes, because I do not have her feet.

She may be quiet and easier to approach. She may not think as ferociously as I, and she surely doesn’t smile as bright as I do. Her words don’t flow from her fingertips quite the way mine do. Her voice doesn’t hit the notes that effortlessly escape through my lips. She could never, will never, and can never be me. Therefore, I must be me!

I’m bold. I know what I want. I speak to what I want. I Love fiercely. I give without thinking. I forgive intentionally. I design with passion. I am focused and dedicated to my craft. I do what I do and I get the results only I can attain. She does what she does and she gets what’s hers.

I think I like it that way. Cheers to being you!


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